the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
