She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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