We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
