Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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