We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
