Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize