Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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