i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
