i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is the high leading the old right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
