he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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