I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
