it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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