dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
