She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
