I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she peed on how many people?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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