Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sarcasm needs its own font
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
