Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
