almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, beer. Big fan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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