I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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