Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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