Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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