I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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