i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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