just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
