She's JV to your varsity
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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