I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
