Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
