lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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