everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize