i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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