Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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