Me too!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
