wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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