I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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