Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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