your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
