Im at strip club and am horny
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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