Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize