Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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