Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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