I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
