im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
