I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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