i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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