ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
