youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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