they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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