I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
