glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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