OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
