How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need moral support for this bender
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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