Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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