Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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