i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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