I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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