Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize