I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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