Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
