remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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