Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i out mim tonsoeep
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