So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dear god my vagina.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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