But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
